Two permits do not equal a license!

As if!
Mel: Cher, get in here!
Cher: Yes daddy?
Mel: What are you wearing?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein!

Ah, Clueless. While the movie is undeniably vacuous, shallow Cher Horowitz was so adorably "clueless" that audiences couldn't help but love her and her oh-so-90s slang (also known as "Valspeak," the universal language of the Valley Girls...thank you, California).

Believe it or not, Clueless is loosely based on the Jane Austen novel Emma. Very loosely. Click here to view character and plot comparisons between Emma and Clueless. The film, which was released in 1995, follows the life of 15 year-old Cher Horowitz, (played by Alicia Silverstone), the daughter of a rich lawyer ("Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers...He gets paid $500 an hour just to fight with people, but he fights with me for free 'cause I'm his daughter!") as she plays matchmaker with her friends and teachers in Beverly Hills. The cast includes a slew of (now) well-known actors, including Brittany Murphy, (Tai), Paul Rudd, (Josh), and Donald Faison, (Murray).

Josh: I'm amazed.
Cher: That I'm devoting myself so generously to someone else?
Josh: No, that you've found someone even more clueless than you are to worship you.

Admittedly, I know pretty much this entire movie by heart. With lines like "I feel like such a heffer. I had two bowls of Special K, three pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, FIVE peanut-butter M&Ms..." and "That was my mom. Isn't she a total betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction," (Cher), what's not to love?

Remember when?
*Remember when Alicia Silverstone was supposed to be the next up-and-coming young actress? She was even Aerosmith's music video "Crazy" with Steven Tyler's daughter, Liv. See the video on YouTube: "Crazy"
*What about Brittany Murphy!? Apparently 10-15 pounds and a dye-job can work wonders! (Okay...maybe more like 20 pounds...she's looking pretty skeletal in that second photo.)

THEN ********************************************NOW Whatever!
Clueless: The Television Show.
Nobody needs to watch this show (I'm not even sure it's running on syndicates any more). The show butchered the film and didn't even include all of the same characters. Alicia Silverstone was smart enough not to go near it, and the show starred Rachel Blanchard. While it seems like picking up where our favorite characters left off would be a great idea, it was a total "Monet."

What is, and What Should Never Be.

Crystal Pepsi

If you don't remember the stuff, you're not the only one. In 1992, PepsiCo. launched a new campaign for their "re-designed" cola. The clear drink, aptly named Crystal Pepsi, was designed to fool the public into thinking that it was healthier than other sodas because it was caffeine-free and more "pure" due to the lack of dyes.

The slogan for Crystal Pepsi was "You've never seen a taste like this," because unlike other clear soft-drinks, it didn't taste like lemon-lime. It didn't exactly taste like regular Pepsi either, though that was the company's claim.

The campaign launch began during SuperBowl XXVII in 1993 and featured the Van Halen hit "Right Now." The song choice was appropriate, because that very moment was the first and practically last mention of Crystal Pepsi. The product flopped tremendously.

References in pop-culture:

*Saturday Night Live: spoofed Crystal Pepsi during a fake product ad for "Crystal Gravy"

*The Simpsons: Homer tries to steal a bottle of "Crystal Buzz," the show's Pepsi equivalent, from a vending machine. After drinking the soda, he says "Mmm, invisible cola!"

*Family Guy: Peter is drinks a can of Crystal Pepsi, then states "It has all the great taste of regular Pepsi, without that troublesome opacity!"

*http://crystalpepsi.captainmike.org/: An entire page dedicated to Crystal Pepsi.

Go ahead and put Crystal Pepsi in the vault. While you're at it, throw in PepsiOne, PepsiBlue, New Coke (aka Coca-Cola II), and Tab Clear (the Coca-Cola equivalent to Crystal Pepsi). These failures point out only one thing: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!